Dreams are weird things aren't they? Dreams and nightmares, no difference because i hate having them. Nightmares obviously scare the hell out of me. And dreams are like movies about the life i fantasize, or things i really desperately want.




Nightmares


Nightmares, eeks, hate them! I remember few years back, when my grandmother passed away, i had the worst nightmare ever in my entire life. At least i think it is. You know when you get so caught up in a situation or obssess over something, your dreams and nightmares somehow manage to just revolve around that topic. Its scary. Then, i was scared of spirits. My grandmother passed away in our house and well, naturally being a small girl at that time, i got frightened. I was afraid that maybe at night, my grandma's spirit would come into my bedroom and appear infront of me. You know, this sort of things. I was afraid to open my eyes once the lights was switched off, i hid under my blanket, i didn't dare switch off my television etc... So then, one night, i had this horrible nightmare. I dreamt that our whole family was kneeling, bowing and praying to i don't know who. I saw fire everywhere, and my grandma was caught in one of the fire. I was crying in that nightmare, and i couldn't stop. The floor was white if i'm not wrong. I gather that this dream was somehow associated with seeing my grandma being cremated? I woke up all afraid. From then on, every night before i sleep, i would pray, asking God to prevent this sort of nightmares from happening again. But somehow, i stopped praying that since i thought that i didn't need to cause i didn't get nightmares in such a long time! However, one night, i had the nightmare in which Father Weerakoon didn't want to give me the host and i got all embarressed and stuff. Darn, i hate nightmares. I know, who doesnt?




Dreams


Don't really fancy dreams too. I always dream about getting something i really really want or like, and then wake up to find it all isn't true. Disheartening you might say. Just last night i had two dreams, two dreams that i can remember actually. One was about getting back the streaming results. I think it was a teacher, didn't quite manage to make out which one, that was so happy and hinted to me that i got into the triple science stream. The dream wasnt that long i guess, or maybe its just difficult for me to remember every single detail.
The other was about him. I dreamt that he went out with his girlfriend and all. Kind of a sad start, i remember staring at a photo with him and his girlfriends and some of his friends. Then i turn around to see him smiling at me and we were actually friends. Then i dreamt he came online on msn, but i didn't dare talk to him and i got all sweaty. Kind of stupid aye?
But I mean, this clearly shows all that i want, or at least constantly think about nowadays. I was happy thinking i got into the triple science stream and that he and i were friends. But it all ain't true. Got disheartened really. Dreams suck.

4.11.05
(SALVATION)