Just came back from church camp about 4 hours ago. Guess what? I have been bitching and scolding people in my last few posts right? Now, i will try my best not to do anything of that sort again. The camp has really had a great impact on me. I went to the camp not expecting much in return, but i received and learnt more than i could ever imagine possible. When we first arrived there, we were each assigned to a room together with some room-mates and we were also given name tags to find our group members. In the room which i was in, my room-mates were Ellen, Yushi and Alyssa. But alyssa didnt come. So we each got a bed each! My group members were Ellen, Rachel, Madeleine, Andre,Justin and Leonard. We did some praise and worship on that day, but not alot. We had our first sharing sessions as well. My group's facilitators were Raymond, Melissa Lee, Terence and Kelly. I think they are the best facilitators of all! Of course I am being kind of bias. I have never liked sharing sessions being afraid that i would be judged or that what i say would be used against me. For example maybe i say that i do not believe in God, then some people might say that i'm a lousy catholic. Fortunately, however, the facilitators said that whatever is said in this sharing session would not be told to others. This somehow comforted me a little, and so i decided to be more open and share like everyone else does. By the second day, I was comfortable sharing already. I'm not going to elaborate on every point of the camp because that would mean i would be typing for another few hours and i really need some sleep. The songs that they taught us for praise and worship were all very meaningful songs that i even cried singing them because of the way the words portray God and speak about him. Now, i always close my eyes when i sing hymns because i can concentrate more. However, i'm not comfortable with lifting up my hands like others. On Sunday, there was the pray-over session. It was really the best moment of my life. I had never felt so overwhelmed by the holy spirit.While melissa, Raymond and terence were praying over me, i broke down and cried, cried alot. I'm not ashamed of that because i know that i cried as the Holy Spirit was working in me. That night, i managed to open my heart to let God in. I was ready to let God into my heart, to make my heart a place of worship. I opened up to melissa,raymond and terence something that i have kept within me for quite a long time and they are the only ones who know about it. All i want to say to them is a big THANKS!I also wanna say a big thanks to Gerard for sharing with our group though i know you are this quiet person who never speaks. Haha. All of your facilitators and cathechists and cathechist helpers rawks! You all were very encouraging. Words cannot express my gratitude cause from then on, i realize that God really loves me and cares for me and that is all that matters. God is willing to walk this journey with me. My heart is joyous and always singing praises to God. I want to change, I know that by gossiping, being mean, being sacarstic or bitching about other people online is not right and by doing so, i am hurting God so much. I do not want Him to feel hurt because i do not care about what he says or what kind of life he wans me to lead. So, I really want to change, not only in terms of attitude and character towards people, but my spiritual self. I want to have this personal and closer relationship with God and i am willing to do almost anything to have it.

5.9.05
(SALVATION)